How to keep relationships strong and healthy?

All of us want to have successful relationships. And it would be great for every wife if her husband is listening to her completely. And, it would be nice for ever husband to have a wife who takes care of him completely and obliges to him for everything! We all have expectations from many people and we try to influence and also get influenced by people around us.

In the process of changing others, trying to get what we want from them, we lose the essence of relationships itself. In India, we have family system which actually helps people living in the family to expand their consciousness. When we live in a family, we do not just think about our own self, we do think about others in the family and how the decisions we make affect others in the family. In a way, we do not live for just our own self. However, this does not mean that one sacrifices himself and his true interests for being in a family. It merely increases the sense of "understanding" among people and also improves other good qualities like acceptance, forgiving, loving and caring and so on.

There are 3 key things to follow in all relationships if you the relationships to stay strong and happy forever:
from Sri Madabusi Subramaniam:

• EXPECTATION: Do not have any expectation from your relations. Do not compare them with some body else and demand from them. Realize that you have got what you need and accept the other person completely - without any pain.
• APPROVAL: Never seek approval from anyone. Just approve yourself completely as you are. Don't expect your dad to say that "You are my best daughter or son". If you start seeking that, then you try to do things to satisfy him/her. And those things you do, you may not like it or its just not you! So why do it seeking that appraisal? You don't need to do something to feel good about yourself as a good daughter or son. Just approve yourself completely and be yourself!
• CONTROL: Never try to control or influence anyone. Don't try to bribe your wife/husband buying them some gifts! That does not mean that you should not gift them at all. Give them gifts when you feel life. But don't do something with an expectation that the other person will agree with you. You enjoy your freedom in your personal space and let others enjoy as well. Never ever try to control/influence anyone.

Again, this does not mean that you have to be living as some parallel tracks or live like room mates even with your life partner. It just merely means that you have respect the other person's individuality and accept them as they are. Do not try to impose your ideas on anybody (even if you think they are right! Because what is right for you may not be right for someone else). Respecting each other and giving personal room space for each other will definitely improve the quality of relationships.

Neither should the wives be nagging nor should the husbands be ignoring! Try to understand each others interest and plot out a best possible solution for both. In the process of satisfying one another, you might end up losing yourself. At the same time, respecting and accepting the individuality is equally important.

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